Debunking the Biggest Myth Regarding Child Discipline
I like to pride myself on one thing: And that’s my ability to think critically and question everything I’ve been taught, usually to the dismay of my parents.
I’m not trying to brag here, because while my tested IQ recently landed me a pretty sweet side gig I can do while my writing kicks off, I’m going to divide the House of Matthews (as I love doing) and debunk one of the greatest myths out there: disciplining kids by hitting them.
I couldn’t tell you how many times people blame out of control kids’ parents because they didn’t get hit hard enough when they were younger, and how even parents I know today condone such an act.
Now, I’m not going to sit here and say it’s downright child abuse, because child abuse is a completely different category in my opinion, I’m going to say that perhaps aggression is caused by aggression.
Think about it for a minute: Kids mimic their parents. If mom and dad discipline kids by hitting them every single time they screw up, the common sinkhole thought is the kid will never commit such an act ever again, right?
Actually, the kid probably won’t do it again in front of you, but now you’re about to raise a cunning, compulsive liar of a child because they’re just going to commit an act behind your back. Furthermore, if any kid their age makes them angry, and the environment they’re being raised in responds to anger in the form of violence, well, now you have a kid who’s going to respond with violence every time someone irks them.
Good job, parents…good job…glad you all thought that one through.
Violence Breeds Violence
So many parents: Well, my parents hit me as a kid and I never committed such an act ever again. It didn’t scar me for life.
See, that’s where you’re wrong because actually, it did.
How many fights were you in?
How many times did you use violence when in an argument with a close friend, brother, sister, or even random person in school?
See, you were raised on violence, whether you want to admit it or not. You were raised on violence and especially as a kid, this conditions children to, when they become adults, respond with violence.
And people wonder why domestic abuse, child abuse, and animal abuse runs so rampant these days….Because the kid didn’t get his or her ass beat enough as a child!
Non-Violent Corrective Action Through Reason and Logic
So, what if any time a kid screws up, because people screw up all the time, myself included, parents instead use corrective action that doesn’t provoke violence, but instead utilizes logic? See, perhaps if a parent told a kid why what they did was wrong, how it’s wrong, and what kind of effect such acts would have on others, well, now you’re going to raise a rather productive kid who knows why they did wrong.
See, when a kid knows why they did wrong and how their actions can harm others, now they’re far less likely to do wrong in the future. If a kid does wrong and a parent uses violence as corrective action, the kids learn violence, in favor of reason.
The reason, in my opinion, we have such a problem with abuse in society is because parents raised kids on violence. No, it has nothing to do with violent video games or lack of violence (how does lack of violence create violence?), it has everything to do with the way a parent disciplines a kid.
Now, I’m no parent, but I’ve definitely studied and covered this topic, and it only makes sense that a non-violent approach to discipline through reason is a much more sensible approach than a violent approach where an individual not only expects pain for wrongdoing, but is now raised in an environment where they’re more likely to exert pain onto others if they’re inconvenienced in life.
Violent Acts Breed Bullying
We have a problem with bullying in public schools, and one reason for such a problem can easily stem from violence in the home, not lack thereof. And again, I’m not saying smacking a kid for wrongdoing is child abuse, unless a parent is going crazy above and beyond like punching them in the face or something to a certain extreme and there are bruises all over the kid. Again, that’s a completely different category than the scope of this article.
But, what’s the best way to combat bullying in schools and in life?
Perhaps urging parents to voice reason when a kid makes a mistake. Everyone’s prone to mistakes; it’s part of being human. It’s all about how people respond to mistakes is what will, in the long run, create a better society that prides itself on non-aggression and reason.